Stubborn, Disobedient, Insecure (And Still Useful)

Like all men, I have my insecurities. Those creeping thoughts that, if not suppressed, keep me from living for Christ. One of my strongest insecurities has always been my limited knowledge of scripture. I write a Christian blog and I've probably only read a sixth of the Bible. When I got married, Satan used this insecurity against me. "How can you call yourself a spiritual leader? Even I know more scripture than you!" He would clang those words into my ears like crashing cymbals.

But last month, the clanging stopped. With fatherhood looming, and my ongoing responsibilities as spiritual leader, I was motivated to buy an audio Bible. I figured out that I spend roughly five to seven hours per week in my car, and that if I spent that time listening to the Bible, I could read it in less than six months.

I began in Genesis and finished the first few chapters of Joshua today. I have laughed, I've cried, but most of all, I've marveled at God's grace and love for such a stubborn people. How much more stubborn and disobedient am I? Yet he trusts me with his work. 

For the husbands and fathers that are reading: it is imperative that we immerse ourselves in God's word. As Moses said in Deuteronomy 6:6-7: 
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 
What is keeping you from being God's man?


Derek said...


"most of all, I've marveled at God's grace and love for such a stubborn people."

Funny you mention this. I am taking a class on the OT Prophets and the recurring theme throughout this class (and the OT) is just how stubborn we are. The Israelites continually forgot and turned away from God and He continually showed grace to them time and time again when they clearly did not deserve it. I am finding that I am much more like the Israelites than I would like to admit.

You pose a great question. What is keeping us from being God's man?

Good words bro!

Evan Bell said...


Reading through the OT, I'm almost rooting that God would destroy the Israelites for their ungratefulness. And then the application hits me. I would have been leading the stubbornness had I been there.

Thanks for the note!

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